Word: felted
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Dates: during 1960-1969
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...extreme case. For the rest of the students interviewed, the stay in the hospital was a slow journey into the recesses of the mind. Some of them felt a massive relief on entering McLean. "Before I got to the hospital." one said. "I was constantly confronted with the accusation that I was losing my mind. The people around me could not understand actions that seemed perfectly rational to me. They wanted me to be like them, but I couldn't. I was split in two by an insoluble conflict, and I became suspicious of everyone. I always had to conceal...
...Cliffie accused herself of selling out. "I felt that by conforming I was eradicating all that was me in my personality. By pretending to be cheerful when I wasn't or by adjusting the tenor of my conversation according to whom I was talking to, I thought I was being hypocritical. I fought all my compromises. I would stare at the person before whom I thought I was compromising myself until my eyes burned...
...assimilation into student life was a sticky process. One boy said his greatest problem was the time lapse. "Things that happened five months ago for my friends happened yesterday for me. I came back and my roommates were into things I knew nothing about.... I felt humiliated by never knowing what anyone was talking about." He felt threatened by the same feelings of isolation that had originally driven him to the hospital...
...eyes, walked across that dark yard past the reasonable student-government people who had stayed up to argue and to observe, walked more guiltily yet past the friendly University policeman on Quincy Street, walked home in the cold, past the Houses where slept the Great Uncommitted with whom I felt I had less in common than with those romantics, or even those radicals...
...felt that the painful jolt of the occupation might have the power to open people's lives, I could have stayed. But the enjoyment of the jolt itself, the aesthetic pleasure of rebellion, is a horrifying thought. For it is unanswerable; there is no return. The Faculty can rap on love and the Corporation can let the poor clip its coupons, all to no avail. Grant what concession you will, unless you turn American society upside-down and free the consciousness from the tyranny of the corporate state-and maybe even after all that-there is no answer...