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Dates: during 2000-2009
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Though I do want to stick with the name death panel, we will handle all forms of medicine, including plastic surgery. Michelle Pfeiffer and Demi Moore, yes; Joan Rivers, no. And while there will be a lot fewer MRIs covered, hair-waxing will be free. We will be able to afford that because much of the cost of health care will be offset by selling the television rights to our panel. If ratings lag, I am fully prepared to appoint Paula Abdul, although I'm aware that this might raise our prescription-drug costs. (See pictures of facial yoga...

Author: /time Magazine | Title: Joel Stein: If I Ran the Death Panels | 8/31/2009 | See Source »

...cost them a fortune a few years back. But if you can find a leasable model you like - GMAC Financial Services and GM are offering packages for the 2009 Cadillac CTS, several new Chevrolet models and the 2010 Buick Enclave and LaCrosse - the numbers might work if you drive fewer than 15,000 miles a year, want to keep a warrantied vehicle for only a few years and don't have lots of cash (say, 20%) for a decent down payment. One example: a Nissan Sentra priced at $20,000 will cost a buyer who puts nothing down about...

Author: /time Magazine | Title: The Clunker Debunker | 8/31/2009 | See Source »

...this framework, we can more fully understand his legislative record. Many have quoted Kennedy’s famous proclamation at the 1980 Democratic National Convention: “The work goes on, the cause endures, the hope still lives, and the dream shall never die.” But fewer have explored the decidedly liberal content of that dream. Kennedy’s speech was delivered following an unsuccessful primary challenge against a sitting president of his own party who, Kennedy argued, was failing to live up to Democratic ideals. The speech was a call to action for liberals...

Author: By Jonathan S. Gould | Title: Lessons from the Liberal Lion | 8/31/2009 | See Source »

...We’ve lost an innocence bred from willful ignorance, which blinded Americans to the steroid-fueled excesses of the Juiced Era and the debt-fueled excesses of our economies’ latest Gilded Age. If from now on we must live with slower growth, fewer home runs, and the genuine, Little Papi...

Author: By Gabriel J. Daly | Title: Little Papi | 8/31/2009 | See Source »

Without the necessary downtime to grasp these profound skits, freshmen are sure to be sexually assaulting one another left and right this year. Similarly, with fewer minutes to internalize their proctor’s rules and instructions, the Yard will likely see a rash of life-threatening hot-plate fires. And don’t even be surprised this year if you catch a freshman consuming an illegal alcoholic beverage in his residence or while congregating outside his burnt-down entryway...

Author: By The Crimson Staff | Title: There's No Time To Read This | 8/31/2009 | See Source »

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