Word: finding
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...make the most of Opening Days you’re going to need to find a party or two. Don’t fret, we understand your social naïveté, which is why we offer you a suggestion: Just grab a GPS-enabled iPhone and map a course to that massive cluster of your “new friends” wandering the Yard. Better yet, buy a hundred iPhones and turn them on right now in your dorm room—the party’s right here...
...you’re wondering what student groups to get involved with, it’s fairly straightforward. Do you find this prose disdainful in a manner that is at once didactic and orotund? If so, comp the Advocate. Are you copyediting this page at Berryline while listening to Miley Cyrus with your pants off? If so, comp The Crimson. Or are you just holding out for a penis joke? Well then, you’re doomed to comp the Lampoon...
...Your second day concludes with your proctor reading you a lot of scary-sounding rules about all the ways you can find your stay at Harvard dramatically cut short. In reality, most proctors are actually softies at heart. Enjoy the dorm-wide gathering that follows—it’s probably one of the few organized social events worth going to as Harvard freshman. Entryways usually become tightly knit, but many people never get to know the other people who live in their dorm...
...avoid the chaos and long lines, it’s important to strategize: Find out when the big, intro lecture courses end in Sanders Theater next door (specifically: Ec 10, and Life Sci 1A), and don’t touch Annenberg with a 10-foot-pole for the following half-hour. Arriving at meals seven minutes before the dining hall closes also works well, though if you tend to run late, this can lead to missed dinners, perpetual hunger, and multiple trips to ‘Nochs for pizza...
...Shuttle schedules are available online, and in a pinch you can call 617-495-0400 or text message Shuttleboy to find out when the next shuttle is due to arrive...