Word: flick
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...another successful big-budget hit like Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves. But the more unlikely the scenarios Costner cooks up, the less likely the audience eats it up. This time around though, he's wised up. In his field of dreams, that piece de resistance would be his new flick, Message in a Bottle. Instead of saving the world, he's traded in his liquids and letters for plain old boats in North Carolina. At first glance, it seems like a surefire hit, given that it's based on a best-selling novel by Nicholas Sparks, but if the book...
...Whereas Stewart had an endearing awshucks demeanor, Costner is about as charming as a tree. Gone are the days where he can plausibly seduce Susan Sarandon on a table or Madeline Stowe with a lemon. Now, he's just like the chubby slob he portrayed in his golf loser flick, Tin Cup. There is simply no ounce of heroism left in his body...
...delightfully bitchy Bebe Neuwirth) who quips, "you kids are going to be in very big trouble." At this point, with tension building and constant doubts about who's really human, we discover that The Faculty is actually a very good movie. There's nothing predictable about this horror flick, despite frequent and obvious references to other classics of the genre. In between scenes of self-consciously kitschy humor and a few really good scares, the audience is caught up in the plot, nervously wondering who'll be next...
...grass. The dirt. The roar of the crowd. The pigskin sailing through the air from one sweaty hand to an even sweatier crook of the arm. The sweet smell of victory. The bitter agony of defeat. Yep, these cliches are the staple elements of a football formula flick...
...mismatch to end them all. Blast From the Past? Brendan Fraser's done this already -- it's called Encino Man, and it's Pauly Shore's finest work. But here's a tip for a nifty impeachment coda: Rounders is now out on video. Not a bad flick -- and keep your eye peeled for a Vernon Jordan cameo as the third judge on the right. Alas, poor impeachment. We knew ye all too well...