Word: flickingly
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...right, that first paragraph was one big lie. But it's already a journalistic tradition to make Charlize Theron (the last name rhymes with heron) sound sexy, sassy and adventurous. Ever since her breakthrough role as Helga, the Teutonic man killer in the 1996 shoot-'em-up flick 2 Days in the Valley, magazines and newspapers have delighted in telling her story: how she modeled and danced her way off a farm in South Africa, how a bad knee ended her ballet career, how she was discovered by a Hollywood talent manager in a bank. Despite a large body...
...good taste ends there. Just as you begin to think that the festival isn't really that sick, on comes a "Birth of Abomination" flick in which a buck-toothed, blue-haired individual named Motormouth swallows the newborn infant of a prostitute, leaving the umbilical cord dangling from his mouth like a string of spaghetti. And then comes the "Sloaches(tm) Fun House." I'm not even getting into the "Sloaches(tm) Fun House"-The Crimson, after all, is a family paper...
...Their love story underscores the Rocky-esque atmosphere of the film, imparting it with that coveted action-film and chick flick dynamic. But unlike Gladiator or Braveheart, the protagonist, refreshingly, does not have a Y chromosome. She owns her unmistakable femininity and her bulging biceps equally, discovering what it means to be a modern woman, and, more importantly, what it means to be herself...
...Like Diana, the movie refuses to be confined by traditional definitions. With its charged brawls and minimalist cinematography, Girlfight is as much Jerry Springer as it is artsy indie flick. And while Diana's high school friends don't exactly look as saccharine as the Clueless chicks, Girlfight's youthful cast and plot often veer into teenybopper territory. Ultimately, however, Diana trades her sassy catfights for the more sophisticated gender-blind featherweight boxing circuit. Her subsequent struggle to be accepted by both the all-male boxing club and by her own father allows the film an emotional depth that strikes...
...consciousness. While we cannot really think of a computer running this "babbler" program as having a fully human-like intelligence, we can consider it to be a viable presidential candidate. Well, to be fair, this "artificial" candidate has one major advantage over its flesh-and-blood cousin--with a flick of a switch its inane babbling is silenced...