Word: flippered
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Dates: during 1990-1999
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...think you've seen this film before, a few years ago, when it was called Free Willy, and you dozed in your seat as your child sat rapt in communion with a lonely lad and his pet whale. Now it's Flipper, a remake of the 1963 film that spawned two sequels and a TV series. But it's still the same primal kitsch: boy finds dolphin, boy loves dolphin, adults wonder what's the big deal with the boy and his dolphin. Jeez! Adults don't understand anything...
...director Alan Shapiro's script, Sandy (Elijah Wood) is a virtual orphan, with his generation's patented passive insolence, who is exiled to the Bahamas to live with his beach-bum uncle Porter (Paul Hogan). Sandy meets Flipper the dolphin and slowly opens up. The bad guys try to kill Flipper, and...Hands, class! Who wants to finish this plot synopsis...
...first product to incorporate the technology is Fin-Fin, an animated dolphin/bird that bounces happily around your computer screen in response to whistles and hand signals. Due in stores this fall, the phantasmagoric Flipper was designed to make the electronic world more friendly for 6- to 12-year-old girls. Fin-Fin is a long way from a truly smart disk-based mammal--she can't swim out to the Internet and grab an image, for instance--but Fujitsu hopes she and her electronic cousins will help demystify (and sell) computers...
...have this right: Sean Connery is a cute medieval dragon who breaks into Alcatraz. Psycho groupie Robert De Niro tracks Flipper all the way to Alaska. Schwarzenegger takes the Brady Bunch into Witness Protection. Danny DeVito and Shaquille O'Neal--twins! Bill Murray goes bowling with his pet elephant. A tornado spits a giant spaceship onto the White House lawn and out steps the most destructive alien force the world has ever known: Jim Carrey...
...just too painful. Space and a tender constitution forbid us to itemize the blandishments of all those morality movies (Flipper, May 17; Alaska, July 14; Kazaam, July 17; The Adventures of Pinocchio, July 26; The Spitfire Grill, August 23, et al.) about misunderstood kids with Dondi eyes and platinum hearts who learn The True Meaning of Friendship from a MENSA-level dolphin, a genie played by Shaquille O'Neal, an adorable polar bear or Martin Landau as Geppetto. For two other childlike films, adults (and adult-like children) may have a hope...