Word: flu
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Harvard's off to its best start since 2005, opening the season with three straight wins. Perhaps swine flu has some as-yet-undocumented benefits for field hockey excellence? Only time will tell. The Crimson, health-permitting, begins Ivy play on Saturday at Yale...
According to The Crimson, “Harvard University Health Services has identified 38 unoccupied dorm rooms throughout the House system to isolate students who have the H1N1 ‘swine’ flu and do not have single bedrooms.” Isolate? Yes, these isolation chambers—as we’ve termed them—are a frightening concept. But maybe not so much once you start applying that famous Harvard egotism...
...ahead: play that fourth game of beer pong. Ignore those handy tips in the dining hall telling you to use a clean plate each time you get seconds—the administration is just trying to trick you into not getting swine flu. Did you know that H1N1 rooms come with full room service? Maybe next time you’ll think twice before stopping at the Purell dispenser. Rumor has it that isolation chambers might even receive the occasional hot breakfast...
...won’t be nearly enough. And as soon as word gets out that registered isolation chamber parties are for H1N1 students only, the rush will be on to catch the virus. Though freshmen trying to crash the masked gatherings will inevitably leave frustrated when asked by certified FLU teams to flash their temperatures first...
...good luck, fellow flu chasers. And please note: This offer is available for a limited time only and comes with zero guarantee that you will be not be placed in the Quad...