Word: fm
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Dates: during 2000-2009
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Many seniors kick back after their thesis is completed and get surprised with a swift kick from oral examinations. An empathetic FM offers 15 things to say if you blank out. (FM is not responsible for the consequences) 1) I feel this oral examination is concentration-normative. 2) Karl Marx, Friedrich Hegel and Jessica Simpson walk into a bar... 3) My dog was stoned and ate all my books. He was very hungry. 4) How’s your marriage, Professor? Not having enough sex? Feel the need to take your frustrations out on undergrads? 5) I may not know...
Between Eleganza, “the FM Freshman 15,” and last week’s Bell Lap application, it’s an exciting time of year for miserable Harvard students who like to celebrate their own false sense of worth on this campus through acts of public narcissism. Meanwhile, pre-frosh weekend offered us a sneak preview of the next generation of jokers who will help make this place terrible for four more years. With so much inexcusable behavior to choose from, we decided to provide a quick round-up of “The Most...
...sophomore year approaches, freshmen, beware—the Yard’s bunk beds and random roommates can be pretty bad, but some of the worst living at Harvard is in the Houses. FM scoured both River and Quad, leaving no roach-infested walk-through unvisited and no synonym for “small” unused, to identify the most atrocious rooms. The few and the proud, all housing sophomores: Lowell M-12: Crimson editor Joy Z. Chen is at a loss to describe the shape of the Polly Pocket-sized common room in her double?...
...Friends with benefits sounds good on paper, but never works in practice. You know what else sounds good on paper? Communism." —Dr. Drew Pinsky, at last week’s Trojan College Media Roundtable, attended by FM crack reporter Lena Chen. Thanks for the civics lesson, Pinsky...
...great way to lure incoming students to your oh-so-social school? How about no parties on Friday because of the LSATs/MCATs? Instead, check out the Lockdown at Hoffa’s for 7 bucks. Speaking of pre-frosh, legal age in Boston is still 18, cradle-robber. SATURDAY FM still doesn’t know what jollies are, but maybe you can figure it out at Get Your Jollies Volume 5 on Saturday night. If so, please give us some—or take them to Leverett House’s 80s Dance...