Word: foams
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Dates: during 2000-2009
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...when the foam of Mather Lather causes rashes to develop, it makes sense that the world should be captivated. The Associated Press recently compiled a report on the scandal of Mather Lather, which was distributed to media throughout the world. This story made its way to the Boston Globe, ABC, and, apparently, Atlanta radio. A mere rash, because it happened at Harvard, became newsworthy...
Matherites consistently do their best to put on a raucous bash which has been historically riddled with controversy. Two years ago they ran out of foam. Last year they came under fire for advertising to pre-frosh females. But this year they really outdid themselves, landing an Associated Press article which included the quote, “I am going to scratch myself until I bleed to death if this continues another day.” Mather, you are full of geniuses. Dirty, yes, but sharp...
...course, the big question is whether the outbreak of rashes was due to the foam at the party or to activities undertaken after everyone blacked out. A quick survey of Fifteen Minutes’ party report confirmed our suspicions, as every picture featured incestuous, Mather-like debauchery that could only reasonably culminate with the transfer of sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). And where did those STD’s come from? That’s right. They came from Matherites...
...first day I felt like I couldn’t walk,” he said. “I had a really good time but I’m kind of pissed off because it seems like defective foam...
Stanovsky said he was unsure why irritations became a problem, but he speculated that the increased exposure to foam this year may have been a problem...