Word: forkfuls
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...first day at Jefferson Junior High, Mr. Peepers wasted no time displaying his talent for creating minor disasters. He gestured with his hat, and promptly had it nailed to the wall by a busy carpenter; he scalped another teacher's toupee with his fork in a cafeteria, prepared to eat it, mumbling "I didn't order a salad." His most recent catastrophe: while manfully trying to retrieve a basketball, he falls into the hoop and gets wedged fast...
Kiss & Marry. When the traveling theater first came to the Bessarabian village of Holeneshti, it stirred a sensation. The little Jewish community had never seen a live actor. What was the theater? Did you eat it with a fork or a spoon? Did you sprinkle sugar or salt over it? Soon they found out. The wandering players had a wide repertory, all the way from Isabelle, Tear My Skirt to Dora, or the Rich Beggar, by Shakespeare, Revised and Improved by Albert Shchupak, Producer and Director...
...horse racing. Last week the paper figured out a way to put even the horses to work for the party. After the Worker's handicapper picked Tulyar, the 11-2-shot winner of the Epsom Downs Derby (see NEWS IN PICTURES), the paper blandly asked readers to fork over part of their winnings for an emergency: the Worker needs $6,921 to pay its bills. Said a front-page editorial: Readers can show their "appreciation" for the tip on Tulyar "by organizing collections to get every possible penny to this office by the end of the month...
While Taft and Eisenhower dueled on the front pages for headlines and votes, the third man bustled quietly around the country. Tennessee's Democratic Senator Estes Kefauver, coonskin cap a-perk on his head, pretty wife smiling at his side, was convincing thousands at the fork of the crick that he was THE Democratic candidate for the presidency. In the five weeks since carrying the New Hampshire primary, he had proved himself a truly magnificent handshaker, fried chicken eater, baby admirer, Kiwanis hypnotizer and a past master of the big platitude...
...Adder's fork and blind-worm's sting...