Word: fours
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What if Pharrell remade The Hangover, but instead of casting four actors, he got Chester French, Clinton Sparks, Jadakiss, and P. Diddy to party together? And what if it wasn't a music video but actually a commercial for Diddy's vodka brand...
...there will instantly and passionately fall in love with you. Beth takes five, and in short order has a quintet of love slaves: a magician (Jon Heder), an artist (Will Arnett), a male model (Dax Shepard), a sausage entrepreneur (Danny De Vito)... and Nick. Somehow the first four follow Beth back to New York to serve as the marplots for her budding affair with Mr. Perfect. (Who will go home with an Oscar...
...they are the lifelines for When in Rome, because the supporting cast, including Anjelica Huston as a Guggenheim chief curator and Bobby Moynihan as Nick's very possessive pal, has no characters or amusing lines, no substance or subtext, to work with. Beth's four pursuers are even lamer. Heder and Arnett were splendid as Will Ferrell's skating partner and chief rival in Blades of Glory; to see them here, reduced to floundering, is to witness a small crime against comedy expertise. As sad as this is, it's no shock, since the director, Mark Steven Johnson, and writers...
...blame David Garrard. (Although those of us who chose him for our fantasy teams surely will.) Four of the league's élite quarterbacks - Peyton Manning, Ben Roethlisberger, Carson Palmer and Tom Brady - dropped out, citing injury or, in Manning's case, participation in the Super Bowl on Feb. 7. The result? Garrard's QB sneak, a move that lands him a spot as the AFC's third alternate despite pedestrian numbers and a losing record. (See pictures of Super Bowl entertainment through the ages...
...easy to make good pizza to not even try. You don't need a special wood or coal oven; you don't need buffalo mozzarella; you don't even need fresh produce. You need flour and salt and good canned tomatoes, and Grande mozzarella from Wisconsin. Put those four things together, and you have the makings of a pizza that will please anyone. Domino's still doesn't get that - their new pie is a Franken-pizza of different cheeses, garlic-, salt- and butter-drenched crust and pepper-spiked sauce. But the fact that they bothered to make...