Word: friendships
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Despite Harry's contention in the 1989 film When Harry Met Sally that men and women can't be friends because "the sex part always gets in the way," male-female friendships have traditionally been hindered more by practical obstacles than by sexual trapdoors. In generations past, girls and boys played on opposite sides of the playground and were groomed for distinct roles in life. Now, however, "strict gender roles have broken down from age 7 onward," says Michael Monsour, author of Women and Men as Friends: Relationships Across the Lifespan in the 21st Century (Lawrence Erlbaum, 2002). Americans come...
...explains. So in June of 2001 Eddy ended up next to the bridesmaids, wearing a tie that coordinated with their dresses. "Walt didn't bat an eyelash," Augenblick insists. "He's not the jealous type, and there are no questions about the nature of my friendship with R.P. Besides, R.P. and I were friends long before I dated Walt. R.P. was part of the package." When Augenblick gave birth last year, she and her husband asked Eddy to be their daughter Isabella's godfather...
Such tales are becoming increasingly common, says Kathy Werking, author of We're Just Good Friends: Women and Men in Nonromantic Relationships (Guilford, 1997). When Werking, a professor of communication at Eastern Kentucky University in Richmond, Ky., began studying cross-sex friendship in the late 1980s, it was hard to find people who had long-standing friendships with members of the opposite sex, especially if one or both were married. But social barriers to such enduring friendships have collapsed. "The idea that once you're part of a couple, you really shouldn't be friends with people of the opposite...
Amanda Williams, 28, an artist and gallery owner from Oakland, Calif., says the 1997 marriage of her childhood friend O'Darie Weathers actually strengthened their friendship. When Weathers announced his engagement, Williams made a point of telling him that although she would always be his best buddy, his wife would now be the "main lady" in his life. "I wasn't telling him something he didn't already know," says Williams, "but I just wanted to be clear." Expecting their friendship to trail off somewhat following the wedding (in which she served as best woman), Williams was surprised by Weathers...
Researchers who have examined cross-sex friendship say that any initial sexual tension tends to fade over time or become irrelevant. "If a friendship is going to become romantic, studies show it usually does so in the beginning," says Heidi Reeder, a professor of communication at Idaho's Boise State University. "The longer the friendship lasts, the more likely each person is to see the other as a friend." (One study, however, suggests that at around the two-year mark, platonic friends often reconsider their romantic options.) Moreover, Augenblick's friend-spark idea has a basis in academic theory. According...