Word: friendships
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...Kids, a film 15 echoes. Though Tan's teenagers live in a world that seems void of adult authority?or even adult presence?they are hardly the empty-eyed nihilists of Kids. If anything, Tan's punks feel too much, clinging to each other and their noble concepts of friendship and camaraderie, agonizing over parental rejection. They just want to be loved. For every brutality?slicing an obnoxious bully's face, stomping a passerby on the street?15 offers moments of cloying mawkishness. One character lets his friend stay over after he's been kicked out of his parents' house...
Call it the parent paradox: many of us love and respect the couple who reared us yet also resent the hell out of them. But social psychologist Susan Newman, author of Nobody's Baby Now (Walker & Co.), exhorts adult children to build a meaningful friendship with Mom and Dad. In researching her book, Newman interviewed 150 adults, ages 27 to 55, to investigate the tension between parents and children as they grow older. TIME spoke with Newman about barriers to a friendship with your folks and why it's critical to overcome the hurdles...
Just as you would with a friend whose friendship you value. You have to let go of old stuff, work around problem areas--don't discuss politics if it creates conflict, for example--and pick and choose your battles. Staying connected is extremely important. You simply can't have a relationship by avoiding someone. Look for mutual interests, just as you would with a friend. And if you have a parent who seems to have no interests, home in on the obvious--grandkids, food, relatives or the past. It's also important to be genuinely concerned rather than merely accommodating...
DIED. CAROL MATTHAU, 78, gossipy memoirist and widow of actor Walter Matthau, whose friendships with the elite of New York City cafe society she wittily recounted in her 1992 book, Among the Porcupines; of a brain aneurysm; in New York City. Before her 41-year marriage to Matthau, she was twice wed to playwright William Saroyan. She had a long friendship with Truman Capote, who, she claimed, modeled the character of Holly Golightly in Breakfast at Tiffany's after...
...could blame him? He's a literary scholar, in a modest way, and ardently married to Iris, who is sexy, beautiful, 10 years younger - and bored out of her mind in Botswana. Her unhappiness eats away at Ray's sense of self-worth, as does her increasingly close epistolary friendship with Ray's gay and witty younger brother Rex, from whom he is estranged. This could all be the stuff of a fairly ordinary midlife crisis, albeit in an exotic setting, except for two things. One, the tender, funny eloquence with which Rush sketches Ray's distress...