Word: gagged
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...quit probably because his own seemed to give up when he was 14. Sometimes he dreams of assuming authority - or flouting it. In high school, Allen tried to become a featherweight boxer, and spent many an afternoon fleeing the truant officer. Out of experience came a typical self-deprecatory gag. "I wanted to be an FBI man," Woody will moan. "But you have to be five-foot-seven and have 20/20 vision. Then I toyed with becoming a master criminal-but you have to be five-foot-seven and have 20/20 vision...
Good News, Bad News jokes* run the entire gamut of human experience and are often topical. In one current gag, for example, President Richard Nixon suddenly appears on all the television networks: "I have some good news for you tonight-and some bad news," he tells his audience. "The good news is that this week our planes have stopped bombing Hanoi. The bad news is that at this very moment they are on their way to Peking...
...ancient Washington gag is that an unsuccessful weapon is about to be renamed "the civil servant" because "it won't work and you can't fire it." That derisive opinion of federal employees may now have to be changed. For the past year a Government task force has been conducting the first survey ever made of output per man-hour by Uncle Sam's hirelings. Last week Labor Secretary James Hodgson announced that the results were "a pleasant surprise": the bureaucrats in Foggy Bottom and environs have been getting bigger productivity increases out of their workers than...
Ready to Tear. There may be some relief in sight for women fed up with ready-to-tear clothing. Next fall's fashions, at least the more expensive lines, are promised to be sturdier and less complicated than present offerings, with soft fabrics and classic lines predominating. "The gag thing is over," says Designer Chester Weinberg. "Now clothes are going to become simpler." Until stores can be stocked with these Utopian raiments, women will have to follow the advice of Bonwit's Helen Galland: "People should look closely. It is very obvious what is well made and what...
Died. Frank Tashlin, 59, Hollywood director who built his career on the sight gag and slapstick chase; of a heart attack; in Beverly Hills, Calif. Originally a cartoon animator, Tashlin graduated to comedy writing in the 1930s and '40s, and to directing in the '50s (The Glass Bottom Boat, Will Success Spoil Rock Hunter...