Word: gardenful
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...lack of an idea but his fidelity to it as it grows and grows and splits its seams. It's become a child he can't control, the alien seed he spawned. Any creative person, indeed anyone who's launched some grand project (renovating a home, planting a garden, starting a business), must be familiar with this dread: that the creation has taken on its own life, that it will overwhelm and consume its creator, that the work will never be finished. Caden couldn't bring his magnificent idea to fruition. Kaufman...
...listening to his father explain sex: "I nodded up and down, my mouth agape. If I appeared awestruck, it was not over this anatomical breakthrough but over my father's choice of props. It occurred to me that never before had any father pressed into service a garden hose to demonstrate the act of sexual intercourse. Not birds and bees. Not mating wolves. Not oak trees and acorns. The two ends of a rubber hose. Only...
...class guilt of journalists, especially male ones. (What do we, with our soft, girlie hands, know about real life?) Palin, in this picture, is real because she eats moose. Obama is not real, because he eats arugula. Yet arugula is served at strip-mall chains like the Olive Garden and Panera. Rachael Ray--not exactly a food snob's idol--makes pasta and beef tenderloin with it. I have looked in vain for her mooseburger recipe. Why are you so out of touch with yourself, America...
...next stop was a rose garden, at Kevin’s request. We began smelling the roses, the only thing one can really do in a rose garden, when a small grey-haired woman approached us. Seeing four guys wander aimlessly through the foliage probably stirred some pity in her heart. “The more beautiful they are, the less fragrant,” she poetically advised. Thus began a quest to find the ugliest rose in the garden and smell it. Though we quickly tired of the game (partially because a guide reminded us that we were smelling...
...Continuing on our way, we found the park had more to offer than we had imagined. We frolicked through an allegedly “enchanted” garden (though we found it less than magical) and gawked at elaborate company picnics, complete with bouncy inflatable houses. We even stumbled upon a family that had set up a slip-n-slide on the side of a hill. In utter disbelief, Kevin asked a shirtless, red-bellied man where they had gotten the hose and water source. The man simply smiled back at us and replied, “It?...