Word: gate
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...last night of the convention I go to a party thrown by Lion's Gate Productions to boost its big hopeful, "Who Wants to Date a Hooters Girl?" The promotional literature proudly announces that it is "the only branded dating show in television." To boost sales of the show (sample segments: "Stud or Dud?" "Know Your Hooters") the producers have shipped in a clubload of the identically clad gals from the Vegas branch. In the course of my investigation I chat to several of these girls in their tangerine hotpants and tight white crop-tops. (Tough work...
Another such spot is the crosswalk between Johnston Gate and the Unitarian Church that crosses Mass. Ave. and Garden Street...
Already, they have agreed to a radical revenue sharing plan in which 40 percent of gate receipts earned by each visiting team will be split evenly among all 32 teams. This alleviates the complaints of teams like Arizona, who will miss out on playing a big market team like Dallas twice a year under the new format...
...will gone. It is right about now I reach maximal fatigue, as those granted freedom quietly and deliberately separate themselves from those condemned to continue battle, one group steeped in bacchanalian post-bellum festival and the other steeped in paper-cut blood. The barbarians are knocking at my gate, and I barely even hear them. At the climax of the battle, when the boiling midnight oil should be burning through pages of texts, I find myself utterly enervated, unable to move or even to breathe...
HOWARD GIRSKY, journalist, who taught the course Gate Crashing 101. "Call and tell them you are a free-lance writer. Ask for credentials, and show up dressed for the party. Don't settle for one gala; ask for invitations to all events. And call a friend. Dates and spouses are welcome...