Word: gays
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...There has never been a better time to be gay in China, but as Destination's somewhat schizophrenic combination of outer reserve and inner exuberance demonstrates, it still pays to be careful. Beijing's attitude has been described as a "Triple no" policy: no approval, no disapproval, no promotion. That sort of "Don't ask, don't tell" system is emblematic of the delicacy with which the communist regime is learning to deal with many of the personal-liberties issues being raised by the country's growing middle class. For their part, homosexuals in China seem perfectly happy to live...
...Still, Beijing is no San Francisco. Openly gay filmmaker Cui Zien says it's still easy to cross an invisible line when it comes to publicly celebrating gay culture. "I organized a gay film festival and the authorities warned us not to advertise the location and the date, not even on the Internet." Despite the restrictions, the festival was allowed to go ahead (unlike some in previous years) and was well attended. Also, since the SARS outbreak in 2003, the government has become more enlightened about AIDS. Cui notes that "there are lots of education programs on safe...
...abundant and, surprisingly, often rigorous. I wondered whether Michael and I could have done more to save our union. What impact had our homosexuality had on the longevity, arc and dissolution of our relationship? Had we given up on each other because we were men or because we were gay? Or neither? Friends offered clichés: Some people just aren't meant for each other. But our straight friends usually stayed married...
...heard footsteps. The chapter on homosexuality explained, "The homosexual must constantly search for the one man, the one penis, the one experience, that will satisfy him. He is the sexual Diogenes, always looking for the penis that pleases. That is the reason he must change partners endlessly. [In gay marriages] the principals never stop cruising. They may set up housekeeping together, but the parade of penises usually continue [sic] unabated ... Mercifully for both of them, the life expectancy of their relationship together is brief." My face went hot with embarrassment...
...know now that the book was blithe and stupid, but I think many people, gay and straight, assume gay men are worse at maintaining relationships than straight people are. I needed experts, answers. I was also curious if I should be so upset about my breakup. As a society, we treat single people over 30 with condescension or pity, but maybe the problem was that I had hurtled into a serious relationship too young. I know that in my 20s I had wanted to impress my family and my heterosexual friends with my stability. Maybe I should have waited...