Word: gazza
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...When he first arrived for spring training, Gazza stayed in Guangzhou at one of the most opulent hotels in town, where the lobby showcased live white tigers pacing in glass cages. Training camp, though, was an hour-and-a-half away from the glitz of Guangzhou and it introduced him to a different China. The hotel mattress felt like it was stuffed with goal posts, the toilet overflowed and the only wildlife in the hotel was tiny, brown and had six legs. "It's supposed to be a communist country, where everybody's equal-like" observes Gazza. "But I reckon...
...Gazza is a man who likes to talk, poke you in the ribs after a witty aside and repeat the joke in case you didn't get it the first?or second or third?time. But here, the garrulous footballer has been reduced to pantomime gestures and one-word exchanges. "Okay," says one teammate, clapping Gazza on the back as he watches the foreigner try to capture a particularly slippery dumpling. "Okay," responds Gascoigne, dramatically spearing the morsel with his chopstick. "Okay!" cheers the teammate. It's one of the longest conversations Gascoigne has had with a teammate...
...evening, the burden of this vacuous camaraderie leaves Gazza feeling low. After the rest of the team has been tucked into bed by a 9:30 curfew, he finds solace in snooker and San Miguel. At night, his motions are usually lazy, a languor born of loneliness. But tonight Gazza is all manic energy, careening around like a banked cue ball. He has invited his father, John Gascoigne, and best mate, Jimmy Gardner?Jimmy Five Bellies to the British tabloids?to stay with him for the next three months, and they will arrive by car from Hong Kong...
...When the pair finally shows up, two hours late and suitably soused, it's like all the energy of his glory days has been jolted back into Gazza. He hugs each man twice and offers up snacks of spicy squid, dried beef and shrimp chips. Jimmy samples the squid, but Dad refuses the food and instead pulls out a half-finished bottle of Famous Grouse whiskey, plus a glass he says he "nicked" from the Grand Hyatt in Hong Kong. Even though Gazza and his father don't actually talk much?John is as taciturn as Paul is chatty...
...next morning, over a breakfast of fried noodles, the mood among the Flying Horses' club management is far less sanguine. It turns out Gazza did not clear his father and Jimmy's stay with the team. It is all, says Shi Minghua, a team administrator, highly irregular. The famous foreigner has been allowed some latitude, like an extended curfew, his own private room and even an unchaperoned trip to the area's famous hot springs. But inviting an entourage of two men and six bellies is just too much, especially in a country so regimented that Olympic athletes...