Word: gela
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...math in my head, I'm going to get paid for it. I have no idea why so many women are into it, much as I can't figure out why they pay people to massage them and not have sex. So I got two expert shoppers, Gela Nash-Taylor and Pamela Skaist-Levy, owners of Juicy Couture, to spend a full day with me in L.A. shopping. Which was fine with me, since TIME was paying...
...Gela and Pam show up at my hotel in a chauffeur-driven black Ford Excursion. They have matching Juicy sweat-suit dresses, matching Hermes handbags, matching Treo phones, nearly identical Manolo Blahnik shoes that make matching clicks as they walk, identical square engagement rings the size of Hungry Man dinners and the same Cosabella underwear, for which I have to take their word because I keep getting distracted by something else when they get in and out of the Excursion in their tiny outfits. Gela, the brunet, is completely in orange, and Pam, the blond, in white...
...Fred Segal, which sells the Juicy Couture line, including its new swimwear and handbags that are specially designed for shopping, with pockets for a phone (labeled hello?), keys (open), lipstick (juicy kiss!!) and a wallet (shop!). I cannot believe it has taken until now for Mattel to consider making Gela and Pam Barbies...
...head upstairs to buy a Libertine shirt for Gela's husband, Duran Duran bassist John Taylor. I spot a houndstooth coat with horse prints that I think would look particularly good while performing Wild Boys. The guy working at the store thinks it's too small for Taylor, so Gela passes on it. She does, however, compliment my eye--the first time that has ever happened when I wasn't playing softball...
Back in the car, after a light lunch, I bring up the jacket again, thinking no one from Duran Duran can really be all that big. Gela decides to call the store and buy it. It doesn't take much to get these people to spend money. I really wish I had written that book...