Word: gendered
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Dates: during 2000-2009
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...there is a clear power structure at work, with male members controlling a guest space populated by male and female guests hand-picked at the door. None of these facts are particularly pretty. Some of them seem to fly in the face of what most Americans believe about gender, merit, and discrimination. In my experience, members of clubs do discuss these issues frequently and seriously, and not merely in hypothetical terms. Why, then, if I know and agree with some of these common objections, am I comfortable being a member of a final club? First of all, no acceptable alternative...
...roam in those eight imposing mansions that enshrine the mystique of the elite—admittedly debunked after meeting most of the members, but still somehow compelling every time I walk by. This world’s inhabitants and I share little to nothing in common—not gender, race, socioeconomic background, or unabashed self-entitlement, and certainly not a penchant for Nantucket Reds.But despite my dissimilar profile—and my lofty, if disingenuous, rejection of their elitism—I must secretly derive some satisfaction from their world. Otherwise, I’d be spending every Saturday...
...whether I liked it or not, affected people. It perpetuated a system that I think we don’t need anymore. The notion of men needing a space to “just be themselves” is old-fashioned and helps cement what I see as unfortunate gender divisions. It assumes that men are men and women are women and, heck, they’ll just never see eye to eye. I think this is untrue, and a lazy way to think about gender and belonging to a community. By joining the club I was endorsing these notions...
...participating in this system, everyone in the clubs gives tacit approval to gender inequity. Just as it would be hard to justify joining a white-only club or a straight-only club, belonging to a club that reinforces power imbalances is problematic. “But my friends and I are nice guys” doesn?...
...likely. It is never easy to give up power, and as the months went by, it became increasingly clear that those who had it weren’t looking to change. Over and over again, conversations came to an impasse. Members refused to frame the discussion in terms of gender inequities, and I refused to view the clubs as just a place to hang out with buddies...