Word: gerbils
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Dates: during 1990-1999
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...love letter to Uma Thurman? I mean, I'm sure whatever species she's from, she's a very attractive member of that species. But as a model of anything important? Thanks, I'll take Katha Pollitt. Sure, Matt Damon is cute, like the way your fourth grade class gerbil was cute, even after it ate pencil shavings and died. You proclaim Vincent Gallo "the most brilliant man ever." His photo-essay reads, and I quote, "And my friend Val Kilmer was dating Cher. Then Cher was my friend, too. I was friends with Cher. I was friends with...
...artist must have hidden depths. Cynically we suspect that every star must have a guilty secret; all that power, money and spare time allow them to act out any sick whim. Gossip has become the purest form of show biz, a story that can be as short as a gerbil joke or as epic as the Monica Follies. It attaches itself to any prominent person, no matter how conventional or innocent he may appear...
Concentration: Gerbil Grooming. I'm trying to do a Special Concentration...
...questions that anyone could possibly want to know the answer to. (To Jason Priestly: "You are such a big star . . . has it changed you much, or are you pretty much the same guy you've been all your life?") His comedy bits were mostly gross-out juvenilia (a gerbil clogs up Tom Scott's saxophone...