Word: geritolized
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WHAT COULD be more appropriate for this tired, old nation than an energy crisis? The middle east is too far away and Watergate is far too complex to get a grip on. But a lack of energy--now there's something the Geritol addicts who run this nation can really relate...
...will the Geritol addicts deal with the energy crisis? For now they will probably make up some new lies about iron-poor blood and expect America to leave everything up to the technological whizzes who have brought us where we are today. There is nothing wrong with this country that a few atomic-energy plants can't cure, the Geritol addicts will say. And they will rush into the exploitation of new resources without thinking twice about little niceties like the environment or quality of life in this country...
...here is Riggs, one of the most publicized and highest paid athletes over 50 in history, telling them that F. Scott Fitzgerald was wrong and there are second sets in American lives. Says Perenchio, who also masterminded the Ali-Frazier fight: "Riggs is the Muhammad Ali of the Geritol set." As Bobby boasts: "I've got Bobby's battalions all over the country, the over-45 guys who want to see one of their own make it big. I know beating a woman isn't like winning seven gold medals. But how many old guys are there...
...long argued that some Geritol claims were deceptive because the vast majority of people who suffer from vague listless feelings would not be helped by the product. FTC investigations of Geritol began in 1959, but have been stalled in the regulatory mill and the courts ever since. The marathon case ranks second only to the FTC's 16-year effort to get Carter Products, Inc. to stop misleading advertising that claimed its Carter's Little Liver Pills could overcome lethargy and even the blues...
After the case reached the court level, Geritol's manufacturer, a subsidiary of Nabisco, eventually changed its advertising to a pitch aimed primarily at middle-aged women. Though the FTC has received some complaints about the more recent ads as well, it so far has not acted against them. Whether or not the newer messages have offended the Government, however, they have drawn spirited criticism from women. In one commercial a husband, after reciting his attractive spouse's achievements, intones: "My wife. I think I'll keep her." The Williams Co. might be well advised to note...