Word: gilligans
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...wanted it to be good. Gilligan's Island was the archetypal stupid situation comedy, but think of all the hours we spent with it. How many of you sharpened your critical faculties arguing about why those rich Howells would take all their money and most of their wardrobes on a three-hour cruise, or what they were even doing on that dinky boat in the first place, if they're so rich and probably have a yacht? And where did that record player come from? Not to mention the records...
...parked in front of our T.V.s, waiting for that fascist howler CHiPs to end, wondering what our favorite characters would look like after all these years, and hoping that Sherwood Schwartz and company had taken the time and money to do this thing right, to make the ending of Gilligan's Island. Well, you can't go home again, and besides--what kind of first name is Sherwood...
...except for (Professor) Russell Johnson, who looked positively ravaged. Mary Ann looks exactly the same, thank God. Ginger didn't look the same, but that might be because she was played by a different actress. (What else has Tina Louise got to do with her time?) It began with Gilligan snoring so loud that the Skipper couldn't sleep. Then this plastic thing dropped a gold disc into the lagoon (it was supposed to be a satellite, but the special effects didn't exactly rival Star Wars). Then there was a tidal wave (I'm leaving things...
Last Saturday was Part One, and part Two couldn't be worse, no matter how hard they try. It might be nice to see the house of Thurston Howell III ('30), and I'd like to see Gilligan marry Mary Ann. Maybe they'll dump society and go back to the island, but that would be too inspired...
Even if it all turns out brilliantly next week, it won't be the same. They'll still look like actors in funny clothes forcing it, pretending they're Gilligan, the Skipper, and the rest. Gilligan's Island is a legend, and it's so much a part of our collective unconscious that any tinkering makes us wince. Like it or not, Gilligan's Island shaped our lives, and they can't pass off this withered piece of camp as the real thing...