Word: glamourpuss
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...hour flight, Glamourpuss comes prepared. Despite a laughable susceptibility to motion sickness, she always flies with a host of mags to keep her occupied. The newest issue of Glamour, of course; Cosmo; Seventeen if she’s feeling giddy; Vogue, if she want to look like a heavyweigt; People or US for a little scandal; and a copy of Newsweek if it dawns on her that she’s been cocooned in the anti-real world, Camp Harvard, for too long...
...Glamourpuss could hardly believe that the big day had finally arrived! A ten hour flight was all that stood between her and pure spring break bliss. Ten hours. On a plane. With a random assortment of random bodies. A cast of characters really, each of whom would gain an identity after Glamourpuss summed up exactly who each was based on nothing more than what he or she chose to read...
After a quick glance around he cabin, Glamourpuss has spotted first character: the Avid Book-Reader. Middle-aged woman with a tattered copy of something long. Though flight time is knocking at the door of infinity, Avid Book-Reader never really advances in her reading. The yellowed pages of said book remain frozen though she’s even got it open during snack time and the in flight movie. (No, Avid Book-Reader does not enjoy the TNT air-network premier of Bound and Gagged: the Life and Times of Harry Houdini). Avid Book-Reader hates to be disturbed...
...glasses, bloody Mary in the middle of the afternoon, cell phone and laptop. Business Man always asks for more peanuts. Crisp oxford shirt, paisley tie. Business Man talks loudly in the airport terminal, to his wife, to his secretary, to himself. Business Man reads Business Week or Fortune 500. Glamourpuss has never touched these publications and therefore has nothing in common with Business Man. Flights next to men such as these tend to seem twice as long as they actually are. Especially if Business Man falls asleep. He always snores...
Antoinette C. Nwandu ’02, a former FM executive, is an English concentrator in Cabot House. Her spastic column, “Glamourpuss,” about the ins and outs of everyone’s favorite girly magazine will continue to appear on alternate Mondays...