Word: globemanship
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When up against an obviously superior practitioner of Globemanship, an audacious ploy, one best used by stay-at-homes of an intellectual appearance, is to abandon all pretense about having been to Europe and, indeed, to disclaim all knowledge of and interest in The Continent. The professional Inpatriate will wear a look of complete boredom while Europe is the topic, being careful, of course, not to let his expression be accurately interpreted as one of ignorance. Since, however, even people who have been to Europe are usually bored when others talks about it, the Inpatriate should occasionally interject a question...
These, then, are the general outlines of Globemanship, the building blocks for improvisation on your part. We would give you more advice on Europe except that it is so old-hat. Now, for a truly fascinating summer, we recommend Transylvania. Did some intriguing research there the last few months . . . Rhinebeck grant . . . strange tribe of marsupial women. Meet you over the punchbowl tomorrow and tell you all about...
Although this is the guts of Globemanship, there is a steamer-trunkful of indispensible ploys that must be learned to back up your initial position. Looking European will help. Buy a belted jacket and a pair of black Italian sandals, be generous with tins of Players' cigarettes, and affect a slight difficulty in getting used to American liquor. Little things make a big impression: you might, for instance, invest...
...your disposal concerning Europe. It is a fortunate coincidence that most students spending the summer overseas are likewise uninformed. Knowing too much would instantly brand you as unauthentic, and the advantage here lies with you. Your greatest danger comes, in truth, from others like yourself who are employing Globemanship and who are out to consolidate their positions by exposing a few frauds here and there...
Since many successful ploysmen have become absolute masters of Globemanship, it would be sheer folly for an amateur to fight them on their own terms. For this professional clan, you must adopt certain specific ploys that work to embarrass the "traveler" and make him feel guilty for his "trip." This aspect of Globemanship will be diagrammed tomorrow...