Word: golfed
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...actor Dan Aykroyd to master crooner Pat Boone. Catering to all tastes and talents, this five-day down-home extravaganza, May 3-7, features a food and crafts fair with homemade wares from applesauce and pastries to quilts and Barbie-doll dresses; a 10-km footrace; a pro-am golf tournament; a three-ring circus; jazz, bluegrass and country music; and a 3 1/2-hour parade with 50 high school marching bands...
...comparative religion call the boarding-school wing of the Episcopal church, Bush now belongs to a Methodist congregation. He apparently underwent a denominational transformation after a spiritual encounter with Billy Graham, an evangelist preacher whose vision of Hell is a world in which he does not get to play golf with the President. It's unclear whether Steve Forbes will continue his financial support of an effort to persuade members of his own congregation to abandon Planned Parenthood and blockade an abortion clinic with their foxhounds...
...hoax. Come on, now! The Mrs. Multi-Millionaire winner was certainly the least attractive--so we looked carefully for the signs of tampering. Sure enough, she just "happened" to be from the same area of California as her husband, also roller-bladed, and eagerly gushed abou her love for golf (he, suspiciously enough, developed golf courses in the area). Most conspicuous was his lascivious romantic whispering in her ear right after she was crowned winner and the kiss which wasn't the least bit awkward. Did these two know each other...
...defense of the Bourgeois Bubba, it ain't easy figuring out who you are while you're under a national microscope and Dad's golf buddies are wondering what you did with their $68 million. Having initially positioned himself as a centrist and then taken on water, he essentially attacked Arizona Senator John McCain for being--a centrist. At this rate of decompression, Bush will be dipping snuff and driving a pickup by week...
Come on, folks, this isn't golf. This is his game. Sure, there's a learning curve, but it's only a matter of time before he figures it all out and has the Wizards on the road back to self-respect (and maybe, someday, even one of those cool rings...