Word: golfer
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...while we're on the subject of golf metaphors, let me turn your attention to The Legend of Bagger Vance, the latest directorial effort from Academy Award-winner Robert Redford. Set against the backdrop of the Great Depression, it's the mystical story of a golfer in search of his swing and his soul, and the caddy who helps light the way. It doesn't take an English concentrator to find the metaphor in that. Of course, the trouble with metaphors is that you can only take them so far. After all, not everybody plays golf (in fact, most people...
...Greg Norman hitting golf balls into the crowd, Paul Hogan whip- cracking a bunch of prawns - a school of prawns? What do prawns travel in? - bicycles! Elle Macpherson taking her clothes off and Priscilla Queen of the Desert attended by scores of drag queens. So, then: an old golfer who can't win anymore; an old comedian who no longer makes the country laugh; an old model who, well, really, can't do much else besides take some clothes off, and never really could; and a woman who's a guy. I had three thoughts: 1), Cheesiness with a zillion...
...Practically, it means just one thing: spring 2002, with Appeals reaching their decision in perhaps spring 2001. Then, we may assume, the loser will appeal back up to the Supremes - which can then decide again whether it's as judicially appetizing as, say, the one about handicapped golfer Casey Martin riding a cart on the PGA tour (evidently preferable this time around...
...doing, but any idiot who's glanced at a newspaper or overheard a snippet of water-cooler gossip knows you're doing just fine. Quite a feat you pulled off in Louisville this weekend, shuttling Bob May back into obscurity and cementing your reputation as a golfer for the ages. If I were wearing a hat, I would take...
...demeanor: It's time to ditch the fist-pumping. Yes, we understand you are an excellent golfer. We also understand that you are proud of your myriad accomplishments. And we respect you. We celebrate your victories with you, and break putters with you when you lose. But if you have any interest in seeing that respect evolve into full-fledged admiration and fondness, you'd be well-advised to drop the whole self-congratulatory post-win schtick. It's grating. And Americans, pompous as we are, prefer to see our sports heroes pocket their wins with a certain degree...