Word: gon
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...theater lights dim. I watch Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan Kenobi whip out their lightsabers. Another generation battles it out. I sit back and enjoy the ride. Vasugi V. Ganeshananthan '02, a Crimson editor, is an English concentrator in Holworthy Hall. Salacious Crumb is the small cackling being who tries to rip out C-3PO's eye in Return of the Jedi. Peter Mayhew played Chewbacca. And the ice creature of Hoth who attacks Luke in The Empire Strikes Back is a Wampa. As for Boba Fett's third cousin twice removed, she recommends you ask Melissa...
...plot is familiar to anyone with access to a computer or magazine. Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn (Liam Neeson) and his apprentice Obi-Wan Kenobi (Ewan McGregor), hoping to settle a dispute between the flabby Republic and an insurgent Trade Federation, find Queen Amidala (Natalie Portman) on the planet Naboo. Diverted to Tatooine, they meet the boy Anakin Skywalker (Jake Lloyd), who has a mysterious force--perhaps the Force. They amass for a fierce face-off against battle droids and the malefic Darth Maul (Ray Park...
This is the work of Lucas the compulsive chronicler of his own imaginary galaxy. But there are other Lucases. One is the grownup kid who loves wise heroes and fast cars. That Lucas created a terse, looming Jedi knight in the person of Qui-Gon, and orchestrated a spectacular, turbo-thrust drag race through sculpted desert rock that consumes 12 minutes and most of the audience's adrenaline supply...
...kingdom have a suave rapture; but some of the dialogue scenes are way too starchy, as if the actors had been left to their own resources while George minded the computerized menagerie. (The line readings of Portman and Lloyd are often flat, or flat-out wrong.) Neeson gives Qui-Gon a flinty dignity; Pernilla August, her weathered face streaked with love and foreboding, brings heft to the small role of Anakin's mother; and Ian McDiarmid is all oily ingratiation as Senator Palpatine. Ah, Palpatine: his name could be a hill of Rome, or a palpitating volcano--one that...
...Elsewhere, Lucas uses the old movies with less trite but equally lame intent. Qui-Gon needs to appear wise; thus, Lucas puts him in the back of a sea-pod cockpit, murmuring confident wisdom ("There's always a bigger fish.") just as Kenobi once presided behind Han Solo's pilot seat. Jabba's dancing girls return as masseuse-extras in a Tatooine hanger, once again serving to sprinkle Lucas' archetypal myth with just enough sexiness to be annoying...