Word: goulet
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Dates: during 2000-2009
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...down your pen. There's no need to address that fan letter you were about to send, or write, or think about writing, as I'm sure one of you must have been. No need, because Robert Goulet has beaten you to it, saying in a letter last October that I am "a sheer delight." He then added, "Can we meet, and can you just let me hang out and listen and observe?" For those of you who have never got a mash note from a Broadway star, let me inform you that Goulet letters are not sent through...
Although it was not my policy to answer fan mail, this policy had never been tested, so I reversed it and wrote Goulet, asking him to be my celebrity pen pal. "I really don't need a pen pal!" he wrote on the back of my first Goulet Christmas card, in which I was introduced, twice, to a pleasantly revealing picture of his wife Vera. "What I need is a buddy! Will you be my buddy???" Underneath, he drew an angry alien. I decided it was best to call. After I listened to some Goulet tunes while on hold, Goulet...
...Vera gave me a tour of their huge house, which contains several thrones and swords from Camelot, an oil painting of Henry Fonda and Katharine Hepburn in On Golden Pond, and a hallway of pictures of Goulet with famous people, most of whose names neither of us could remember. He reads four newspapers a day and all the newsmagazines, which he clips. That, plus the slapping and his habit of breaking into song, and he reminded me a bit of a dangerous homeless man, only better looking...
...went to Picasso, a restaurant where diners are surrounded by real Picassos. None got as much attention as Goulet, who told jokes and flirted with the wait staff, wherein flirting means "grabbing ass." I learned much, like that Sinatra called him for singing advice and that "zemelheimer" is his euphemism for an erection. He was the biggest person I'd ever met--an Ali in a sea of Wayne Newtons...
Page should expect plenty of offensive production from a pair of sophomore standout forwards, Valerie Hall (19 g, 17 a) and Candice Ceelen (16 g, 18 a), as well as junior forwards Brooke Bradburn (18 g, 14 a) and Stephanie Romain (11 g, 18 a). Jennifer Goulet and Lindsay Vine are two of the rookies who could make an impact offensively this year...