Word: grader
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Tattle when you're a third-grader, and you'll get a stern parental reprimand. Tattle when you're an imprisoned junk-bond trader, and you'll get time off. That's the lesson celebrity financier and felon Michael Milken was taught by Federal Judge Kimba Wood, who reduced his prison sentence by one year for cooperatively testifying against former colleagues. For the past 17 months, Milken has been a model inmate at a minimum-security California prison. He can expect to return home to his family next March...
Imagine the playground possibilities for ostracism. No longer will dodge ball be the sole determinant of power. Now sugar will separate the strong from the meek: woe to the first-grader who can't stomach a tear Jerker...
...Spock is responsible for a whole generation of spoiled brats, it was Bill Gaines who propelled baby-boomer smart-aleckism to giddy new heights. Long before the Nickelodeon cable channel (whose sensibility is significantly Mad-derived), before Father Knows Best seemed campy, before every other ninth- grader wore sideburns and shades, Gaines' magazine was the only place for children to have an uncensored glimpse behind the perky facade of '50s bourgeois life. It was where they could get clued in to the fatuousness of civics-book sanctimony, to the permutations of suburban phoniness, to grown-up dissembling and insincerely sincere...
...this point our assumption expert proceeds to discuss anything which strikes his fancy at the moment. If he can sneak the first assumption past the grader, then the rest is clear sailing. If he fails, he still gets a fair amount of credit for his irrelevant but factfilled discussion of scientific progress in the 18th century. And it is amazing what some graders will swallow in the name of intellectual freedom...
...anonymous grader sent us a pithy response to Carswell's piece, and his advice, "Grader's Reply," has run alongside it ever since...