Word: grader
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...right, of course, about the third alternative, and a very sensible one it is—working out some system of fooling the grader, although I think I should prefer the word “impressing.” We admit to being impressionable, but not to being hypercredulous simps. His first two tactics for system-beating, his Vague Generalities and Artful Equivocation, seem to presume the latter, and are only going to convince Crimson-reading graders (there are a few and we tell our friends) that the time has come to tighten the screws just a bit more...
Think, Mr. Carswell (wherever you are), think, all of you: Imagine the situation of your grader. (Unless he is of the Wheatstone Bridge-double differential CH3C6H2(NO2)3 set. These people are mere cogs; automata; they simply feel to make sure you have punched the right holes. As they cannot think, they cannot be impressed; they are clods. The only way to beat their system is to cheat.) In the humanities and social sciences, it is well to remember, there is a man (occasionally a woman), a human type filling out your picture postcard. What does he want to read...
...Grader...
...piercings, not Dolce & Gabbana. Metalworking, not wine pairing. If there is such a thing as the opposite of metrosexual, the Gear Eye shows are it. Most important, where Queer Eye is about growing up--becoming urbane and understated--the Gear Eye shows are about nurturing your inner third-grader. On the likes of Discovery's Monster Garage and TLC's Overhaulin', cars get tricked out into roaring, smoke-spewing beasts that resemble something out of a 6-year...
...kitchen table, Evona Moss helps her son Michael, 10, with his homework. Michael grew up across the street from a chat pile, and at one point the third-grader's lead levels measured 40% above the Centers for Disease Control's danger level. He repeated kindergarten. "I used to think he was lazy," says his mother, "but he tries so hard. One minute he knows the words, and a half-hour later he doesn't. Every night he kneels down and prays to be a better reader...