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...ghost of J.F.K.? Yes, this is an update of Dickens' A Christmas Carol, with Kennedy as Marley's Ghost. George S. Patton (Kelsey Grammer) is the Ghost of America Past, George Washington (Jon Voight) the Ghost of America Present, and an Angel of Death (Trace Adkins) points Malone to the future. From these wraiths we learn that pacifists like Malone would have been responsible for the continuation of slavery into the 21st century (because they opposed the Civil War) and for the Holocaust (you know why). A flashback to 1938 shows Neville Chamberlain signing the nonaggression pact with Hitler, then...

Author: /time Magazine | Title: What's Michael Moore Doing This Election? | 11/3/2008 | See Source »

...less than three minutes. A casual once-over would divulge to the audience that Chris Farley’s brother was playing the role of fat, angry, and ultraliberal “Michael Malone,” who is joined in his onscreen shenanigans by stars like Kelsey Grammer, Dennis Hopper, James Woods, John Voight, Trace Adkins, and Bill O’Reilly. Before you ask, “Why O’Reilly?,” it’s important to understand something about each of the people in the above list: they all love the GOP. Woods...

Author: By Andrew F. Nunnelly, CRIMSON STAFF WRITER | Title: Conservative Comedy: When the GOP Gets Laughs | 10/3/2008 | See Source »

...Malone's character is played by Kevin Farley, brother of the late comic Chris Farley. The actor shares Moore's blocky build but not his politics: in real life, Farley is a Republican. So are the actors who play three ghosts who visit Malone to awaken his patriotism--Kelsey Grammer as George Patton, Jon Voight as George Washington and Chriss Anglin as Republicans' favorite Democrat, John F. Kennedy. Conservative country singer Trace Adkins shows up as the angel of death, and Bill O'Reilly plays another imposing figure: himself. To persuade Malone, the ghosts frighten him with visions of classic...

Author: /time Magazine | Title: Hollywood Conservatives | 10/2/2008 | See Source »

...Swing Vote falls from agreeable fable into wan satire. Why 10 days? To show that the electoral process is a shameless sham in which politicians pretzel their principles to get elected. The two candidates come courting Bud. Drawing their own inferences from his cryptic remarks, the Republican (Kelsey Grammer) suddenly plumps for gay marriage, while the Democrat (Dennis Hopper) turns pro-life. The movie says these are decent men forced to reverse field by their Machiavellian advisers (Stanley Tucci as, essentially, Karl Rove; Nathan Lane as, more or less, Robert Shrum). If this is the case, then they...

Author: /time Magazine | Title: It's the Election, Stupid | 7/31/2008 | See Source »

...world prefers to appear hungry rather than sated. Commonly understood in the fashion industry is the concept that runway models are not the main attraction, but merely human coat hangers, used to display designers’ wares. Inexplicably, these human coat hangers have become the standard of beauty. As Grammer writes, although attractive features themselves are “cross-culturally universal,” socio-economic factors within cultures do modify them slightly. Maybe our abundant resources have spoiled us into thinking that affluence is more attractive than health. Rather than maintain a physique that could outrun a lion...

Author: By Sarah C. Mcketta, | Title: Ugly is the New Pretty | 7/21/2006 | See Source »

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