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There's an old joke that grandparents and grandchildren are natural allies because they share a common enemy. If parents are the enemy, they must be won over, for they are the gatekeepers who regulate grandparents' access to their grandchildren. According to researchers, the better the relationship between parent and grandparent, the greater the contact and closeness between grandparent and grandchild. "It's up to the parents to make the grandparents feel welcome and to send the message to their children that they're really integral," says Sally Newman, executive director of Generations Together at the University of Pittsburgh...

Author: /time Magazine | Title: Families: Simply Grand | 10/11/1999 | See Source »

...parents hard-pressed by the multiple demands of careers and child rearing, arranging visits and maintaining communication between grandparents and grandchildren can be an additional chore. Why bother? There are selfish reasons. "Marriages flourish with helpful grandparents. Helping with kids--giving parents and children a break from routines--is one of the greatest gifts grandparents can give," says Kornhaber...

Author: /time Magazine | Title: Families: Simply Grand | 10/11/1999 | See Source »

...keep track of birthdays, scan in snapshots--and see what the rest of their extended family has been up to. Valerie Juleson lives in Wilton, Conn. Her 12 adult children--11 foster kids and one biological child--are spread out all over the U.S. and Europe, and her two grandchildren live in Florida. She keeps up with everyone through a site created on myfamily.com One of the latest sitemakers to come online: superfamily.com...

Author: /time Magazine | Title: Families: Simply Grand | 10/11/1999 | See Source »

Good communication and that spirit of compromise have helped keep Meera's family close. That's not always the case in modern multicultural America, says sociology professor Schlesinger. The tragic irony is that many immigrants come to the U.S. in search of a better life for their children and grandchildren. But in order to achieve the goal set by their elders, the younger generation must assimilate, and when they do, they become strangers who speak a different language and live by an alien code. "The grandparent has achieved his American Dream," says Schlesinger, "but at a terrible cost." Exacerbating...

Author: /time Magazine | Title: Families: Simply Grand | 10/11/1999 | See Source »

Even grandparents who have no physical or cultural divides separating them from their grandchildren may yearn for ways to get closer. David Stearman and his wife Bernice are lucky enough to have all six grandkids living within a 25-minute drive of their home in Chevy Chase, Md. Nonetheless, the Stearmans are always looking for ways to enhance their togetherness. So Bernice has made a habit of taking the kids to "M&Ms"--movies and malls. David does something a little more adventurous. For the past 10 summers, he has gone to camp with one--sometimes two--of his grandchildren...

Author: /time Magazine | Title: Families: Simply Grand | 10/11/1999 | See Source »

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