Word: grandma
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...Grandma Aurica points at the marks on the wall from the flood, which entered the house in 2005. "My son left to save money to rebuild the house," she explains. "He said until they have enough money to start with the foundation, they are not going to come home...
...carrying bread rolls under his arms has a suspiciously raconteurial told-once-too-often feel about it, don't you think? And anything involving wolves requires special scrutiny. It's only a matter of time until Little Red Riding Hood admits that her story was "exaggerated" to protect her grandma, who at the time was "still in the closet." (The Big Bad Wolf, in his version of the story, will promise to "deal with the cross-dressing issue" and declare, "Red is green with envy. All she can say is, 'What a big advance...
...biting it off for me at my third birthday party. Of course, that was probably a waste of time and pizza anyway, as the slice was quickly abandoned in favor of a pink-frosted cake decorated with a ballerina. Nonetheless, my mom dutifully ate the point for me, my grandma commenting that such maternal behavior was necessary—her little granddaughter “ate like a bird”—my father looking on a little disdainfully and a little lovingly. When I was in elementary school, before my parents discovered exactly what the cafeteria...
...Those wearing the tees are either unaware of or unconcerned by the meaning of the English messages they bear. It's not uncommon to see a man wearing a T-shirt boasting "World's Best Grandma," or a young girl wearing a shirt lamenting "Stripping ruined my life." I've seen an old woman in "I Love AC/DC," an indigenous grandmother with a shirt bragging, "My boyfriend is hotter than yours," and another disclosing that "My boyfriend is out of town...
...Radcliffe Pitches and the Harvard Lowkeys promise to serenade your date with golden oldies and pop hits while capitalizing on the post-Valentine’s Day love buzz. ‘Cause your grandma always said that a capella was the way to someone’s heart...