Word: grassed
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...underway. The squadron of landscape-artists has been unleashed; like Stravinsky, they aspire to create a magnum opus of the season's rituals. With ardor, with bags of dirt, they have already begun to transform the Yard from a relatively pleasant, serene meadow into a confusion of cordons, chemical grass simulacra and bare patches of earth hideous to behold. Harvard subsists on tradition: the Yard is made repellent each spring and this one is no different. Why bother, one is compelled to wonder. Why go to all the time and expense for a lawn destined for a life so nasty...
...might agree, and so should this year's Commencement speaker, Alan Greenspan. Unless, that is, this superficial cost-benefit analysis is wrong, and the grasseous benefits do outweigh the pain-in-the-asseous costs. Giving Harvard the benefit of the doubt, there must be some intangible attributes of the grass not captured in the it's-a-pain, what's-the-point model...
...There are. A closer glance at the lawn reveals that the grass ritual is not borne of practical necessity, but that Harvard nonetheless has a vested interest in maintaining the perfect condition of the Yard...
...could be plain old vanity. But maybe, just maybe, it's something even more sinister. Maybe there's a deep dark secret hiding in the grass...
...elite. A boom in the popularity of field-based sports such as tennis, cricket, lawn bowling and croquet abetted this rise. While lawn bowling and croquet proved faddish, quickly losing out to shuffleboard and flagpole-sitting amongst Oxbridge students, lawns were a bona fide trend--the wily grass endured...