Word: greaney
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Allan Hamilton, who attacked Daniel J. Greaney '86-'87 on December 7, will be sent to jail for a year if he commits another grievous offense within the next 18 months, according to Assistant District Attorney John Ciarli...
Hamilton and three companions attacked Greaney and two friends, Christopher J. Riley '86 and William Kaplan late one Saturday night. According to Greaney, he and his companions were waiting outside Claverly Hall for a third friend, Andrew R. Mann 86, to throw them his keys so they could enter the building...
...Wednesday--Highbrow journalism mogul Rupert Murdoch announces that he has bought the Harvard Independent for $1500. Murdoch adds in an interview on Channel 5 that he also considered purchasing the Lampoon, but decided it wouldn't be profitable. "That's not funny!" barks Lampy president Daniel J. Greaney...
...Thursday--Three animal-rights activists break into the Harvard Lampoon's Castle, holding Lampy President Daniel J. Greaney '87 hostage for five days to protest what they say is a planned Lampoon prank to dynamite six sheep the following month during a speech by the Prince of Wales at Harvard's 350th anniversary celebration...
...Tuesday--A team of Harvard Police snipers wounds the three terrorists, but accidentally blows the beak off the Ibis and puts a dozen holes in the famed President's Chair. An apparently brainwashed Greaney, however, tells his rescuers that the humor society will be evicting the Starr Bookstore to make way for a free veterinary clinic...