Word: groaners
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Scheduled to get a shearing as a draftee, Dreamboat Groaner Elvis Presley jumped the clippers by getting a "normal" haircut that shortened his sideburns a good inch, left him still looking much too dreamy for the Army...
...keeping with old-line Hollywood etiquette, Gossipist Louella O. Parsons announced formally that the mayor of Palm Desert, Calif, (pop. 3,000), Old Groaner Bing Crosby, 53, and his bride of almost four months, Cinemactress Kathy (Operation Mad Ball) Grant Crosby, 24, are expecting a little wailer in August. Flashed Lolly: "Kathy said that either a girl or a boy would be welcome." The rest of the press caught up with Kathy herself as she filled out an enrollment card at Los Angeles City College, where she will bone up on psychology and sociology while waiting for motherhood...
After artfully staying out of the public eye most of the time since their marriage nine weeks ago, Old (53) Groaner Bing Crosby and his bride, Cinemorsel Kathy (Operation Mad Ball) Grant, 24, ventured forth in Sunday best for the Hollywood premiere of The Bridge on the River Kwai. Brainy Kathy, a qualified cook by virtue of a college home-economics course, disclosed that she is now studying chemistry because, "I was a fine arts major [University of Texas], and I feel I have neglected the physical sciences. It's very good mental discipline...
...bobby-soxers' sideburned golden calf, Dreamboat Groaner Elvis (All Shook Up) Presley, rolled rockily into Chicago for his first visitation there, succeeded in slaughtering some 13,000 of his worshipers in the Stockyards' packed International Amphitheater. Appropriately, The Pelvis was got up in an outfit that could embarrass Liberace-a suit of gold lamé and the skin of an unborn calf, plus golden shoes (24-carat coating, claimed his handlers) to match. In an earlier session with dazzled newshounds, Elvis disclosed one of his great personal sorrows: "Ah always wanted sideburns, but Ah cain't grow...
Tooling up to a Memphis induction center in his li'l ol' unpretentious cream-colored Cadillac, Dreamboat Groaner Elvis Presley, a hulking 21, went bravely inside, peeled off his inconspicuous scarlet and black jacket and other trappings, permitted medicos to examine him. The doctors' verdict: a fine broth of a lad, pelvis and all, eligible for drafting-probably to serve in some special services division, tote some such gone weapon as a guitar. Before rolling off in his Caddie, Elvis allowed that the intelligence test he had taken was a breeze. Groaned the bobby-soxers' golden...