Word: groom
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...wore a black taffeta afternoon dress with two gold clasps at the shoulders. A minor party official with the coincidentally appropriate name of Wagner (Hitler's favorite composer) was brought in from his militia post to perform the brief ceremony. As the law prescribed, both bride and groom swore that they were Aryans. Wagner signed the marriage certificate, glanced at his watch, saw that it was just after midnight and changed the date from April 28 to April 29. Then they all had champagne and liverwurst. As Wagner dutifully returned to his post half an hour later, he was killed...
Feeling sore that you won't get to bear witness to the exchange of vows between Prince Charles and his longtime mistress, Camilla Parker Bowles? You're not alone. In fact, you're in the company of the groom's mother Queen Elizabeth II. Buckingham Palace insists the Queen's no-show act doesn't signal disapproval of her son's April 8 nuptials. According to a palace spokeswoman, the Queen is not going "because she is aware that the Prince and Mrs. Parker Bowles wanted to keep the occasion low-key." Right. Heaven forfend that as dedicated a party...
...Before things get too hot and heavy, the festivities are interrupted by a guilty admission on behalf of the bride and the best man. A storm ensues – accompanied unfortunately by a literal storm - between all offended parties, during which ¬Kat and the groom run away. Luckily, Kat hired a sensitive, wise and insightful male escort who doubles as a therapist and moonlights as both Prince Charming and Superman. Nick magically placates tensions and miraculously saves the day, just in time for the wedding...
...occasional underhanded jabs – “Oh sweet mother of Jesus, who gave that woman an amp?” – for which weddings provide the perfect backdrop. A crucial pep talk also allows another brief moment of realism, as Nick suggests to the groom, “You go back and you get to spend the rest of your life having great makeup...
With or without a diploma, not everyone getting married at Memorial Church uses their Ivy League intellect. Edington tells of a groom who decided to get his hair cut mere minutes before the start of the ceremony. But that’s not the all-time best wedding blooper. According to Edington, that honor belongs to “the bride who asked, just before the wedding began, whether the best man could stand in for the groom—because the groom ‘isn’t feeling well today.’ Answer: very, very...