Word: groomed
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...Ritchie had filmed his own wedding, it might have looked like this: rapid cuts of swank guests and strewn rose petals, 360[degrees] swirls as the bride descends the staircase, a low-angle shot of the groom in his kilt, a killer closeup of Sting's molars as he sings Ave Maria and--big finish--a plateful of haggis thrown at the camera. The whole film would be very loud and would last about six seconds...
...meantime, though, the throng that stood for hours in freezing weather outside the church, blocking Fifth Avenue traffic for two full blocks, weren't there to catch a glimpse of the aforementioned superstars. Nor were they really interested in the billionaire businessman who happened to be the groom. Mottola's achievements in the music industry are, to be fair, quite impressive, but they can basically be boiled down to three key events: 1) Gifting the two music video channels with the leggy Ms. Mariah; 2) signing Michael Jackson to Sony Records for an obscene amount of money (since which time...
...director GUY RITCHIE at Skibo, a 13th century Scottish castle, have nevertheless made their inexorable entrance into the public conversation. The bride, 42, wore a dress designed by maid of honor Stella McCartney, an antique veil and a 37-carat diamond-cross necklace on loan from Harry Winston; the groom, 32, sported a kilt, as did the couple's four-month-old son ROCCO. Among the 60 or so invitees were some famous people (Gwyneth Paltrow, Sting) and some people famous for knowing famous people (Debi Mazar, Trudie Styler). After dinner, an imported Miami deejay spun records in the castle...
...Unable to dress, bathe or groom self; unable to control bladder and bowel function...
...were ferried about in an antique Rolls-Royce complete with uniformed footmen. The rehearsal dinner, a picnic at a lake, included a trout-fishing derby. "All I did then," remembers Andrews of her earlier, more modest trip down the aisle, "was show up with the dress and the groom. My mother did everything...