Word: grunwald
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...Mike Grunwald the Editorial Chair decided to apply these sports reporting techniques to his recent editorial commentary, "I'm Washingerelemontic." But the application didn't work--as it generally doesn't for not-so-good sportswriters--and in this instance couldn't work, except by distorting facts and committing the same mistakes that overzealously committed sports fans make in their temporary loss of full reason...
Like the best of these die-hard sports fans, Grunwald confuses style and substance in his diatribe on me. Because he doesn't like the way I say things (my style) he tries to impugn my points of view (my substance) without ever considering them on their merits. Grunwald, really, really, doesn't like the fact that I feel confident enough in what I say to refrain from writing theses to back up each point I make...
...pathetic paragraph, Grunwald enumerates a list of quotations from pieces I've written; these quotes made points that I failed to substantiate to his satisfaction. He pejoratively editorializes after several of the points that "he [I] didn't say why," giving the reader the impression that I had no idea what I was writing about. Grunwald assumes that because I didn't bore my readers and him with the philosophical or empirical underpinnings for each statement I made, I must therefore not have any such evidence. Gee, how convenient...
...Grunwald is so resolute in his conviction that I'm truly dumb that he makes himself look so. He refers to a piece I wrote on behalf of AALARM about last month's glorious Coming Out Day in which I said, "for AALARM our actions represent our lives. For BGLSA it is just another extracurricular activity." Does that make any sense to you? If it does, pay a visit to a local psychiatrist. Hypersensitive and hyperserious people like Mike Grunwald, though, completely missed the satire and intentional stupidity of the statement, readily assuming that I'm so out-of-touch...
...view should be believed because "for AALARM their actions represent just another extracurricular activity, but for us our actions represent our lives." Obviously, Watson's reason was a silly one to justify why not to believe us, and I was just satirizing this flawed reasoning in my letter. Grunwald must have been too Wasingerphobic...