Word: gum
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...TRUTH, however, is that poster gum simply does not work. Yesterday, I went to the Quad for a two-hour tutorial. When I left, my bedroom walls featured a typical smattering of undergraduate decor--pictures of friends, a Van Gogh print, my favorite Far Side and New Yorker cartoons, Martin Luther King, Jr., and David Ben-Gurion matching visionary stares and so on. When I returned, the collection was unceremoniously gathered on my floor...
...most difficult to try to rear-range my spatial orientation by 90 degrees. I tried sleeping on the wall to reproduce the original pattern, but I couldn't seem to stay there, no matter how much poster gum I used...
Someone will now pipe up with some inanity like, "That's because you used too much poster gum. Just use a little, and use it well," I may have believed it as a rookie back when my posters fell off the wall in Matthews, but the view is different from Leverett House...
There is no such thing as a better way to use poster gum. I tried putting it just on the corners of my posters, or just on the middle of the top side, or dead center after boiling a live cat and dancing a Highland fling, but nothing works. Sure, they stay up for a while, but we all know how it ends. In the middle of the night, each of us can expect to dream that the sky is falling. Chicken Little didn't know how good...
IMAGINE HOW FOOLISH major historical events would seem had previous generations been made to use the same glorified silly putty that is forced upon us. Martin Luther gumming his 95 Theses to the door of Wittenburg Church just doesn't resonate with theological thunder. Nebuchadnezzer's Hanging Gardens of Babylon wouldn't have stayed up had he trusted the gum. And the ancient Romans would have been hard pressed to devise a method of execution that used poster gum instead of nails, unless they had been diabolical enough to realize that protracted attempts to use the stuff can themselves weaken...