Word: gum
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...Gambino Soldier Dominick Lofaro, 56, was arrested in upstate New York on heroin charges. Facing a 20-year sentence, he agreed to become a Government informant. Investigators wired him with a tiny microphone taped to his chest and a miniature cassette recorder, no bigger than two packs of gum, that fitted into the small of his back without producing a bulge. Equipped with a magnetic switch on a cigarette lighter to activate the recorder, Lofaro coolly discussed Gambino family affairs with the unsuspecting Gotti brothers. Afterward he placed the tapes inside folded copies of the New York Times business section...
...almost enough to take one back to the days when Gerald Ford fell off a plane ramp and Americans began wondering about their President. Had he forgotten to wear his football helmet back in college? Could he walk and chew gum at the same time? First, Ford nonchalantly knocked a tape recorder off the lectern while making a speech. Next, he and Edward Bennett Williams crashed into each other as the Washington attorney was leaving the podium. Once when a plate smashed to the floor, Ford's spokesman Bob Barrett took the microphone to tell the room, "That wasn...
...single hole in the Los Angeles Open. That's the first one he mentions. Once in Paris, Palmer drove a ball off the Eiffel Tower and hit a bus. "Close to 400 yds.," he boasts, "mostly straight down." Another time, in Melbourne, he climbed a 20- ft. gum tree to play a backward iron shot -- a "tree-iron," as he pronounced it -- and made a bloody wonderful bogey...
...bizarre account that mocks conventional journalism. Kesey may have quit the literary major leagues but can still be an exciting writer, whether describing a rampaging billy goat or a fatal car wreck in Egypt: "It's two flimsy Fiat taxis just like ours, amalgamated head on, like two foil gum wrappers wadded together. No cops; no ambulances; no crowd of rubberneckers; just the first of those skinny street jackals sniffing the drippings...
...merry '80s. Here is an upscale-looking bottle of Seagram's Golden Spirits in a flavor called "mandarin vodka"; it tastes like a spritzy cocktail but contains little more alcohol than a beer. How about a Wineberry Sausalito Sling, with a flavor suggestive of ginger ale and bubble gum, or a Calvin Cooler in citrus flavor, with real fruit pulp floating...