Word: gummed
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Adios, pilates. Gone are the slow, structured "I doubt I've worked off the calories in a stick of Carefree gum" workouts emphasizing a yoga-based spirituality, and in their place is the latest "it" exercise. Martial artist Billy Blanks created Tae-Bo, the fast-paced, super-sweaty stepchild of kickboxing. Popularized by a sleek advertising campaign heavy on late-night infomercials, and garnering the support of Carmen Electra and Sinbad, Tae-Bo now constitutes a veritable alterna-robics empire. Blanks himself is on the way to superstardom, having appeared on a recent episode of "ER" in which he schooled...
Stop trying to conform. Go back to your roots with the one and only Bazooka Joe. Mints, shmints; cinnaburst, minnamurst. What's weaker than a sudden explosion of mock maturity than the youngster who without warning switches from bubble gum to mint? Really, it's all about the roots. Who was there in elementary school and junior high? Not the Wrigley's twins, not any strangely favored lifesaver, not any "curiously strong" mint. It was, always has been, and always will be good old Joe, with a comic wrap to keep that smile on your face and a familiar flavor...
...flash of light illuminates the sky, and he slams on the brakes. A spacecraft has landed on the nearby Enter Martian--a red, three-eyed creature who sees O'Hara recovering from the shock and, realizing he has landed on planet earth, chews on a piece of blue gum enabling him to transform into Christopher Lloyd. Grace, the spoiled boss's daughter whose glossy lipstick, tight apparel and wonder-bra breasts reek of superficiality, pulls up in her red sports car equipped with a "Dad's Girl" license plate. Emanating her usual "don't-you-want-to-slap-me" self...
...Warner-Lambert company, the makers of Trident gum, would like everyone to know that, "No. Wrappers are not meant to be eaten." Another urban legend debunked, bubble burst...
Good thing there's a new chew in town--the Trident Advantage with Baking Soda. This time, Trident's product designers have packaged their goods in distinctly inedible plastic bubbles. While Trident Advantage may boast special powers--whitens teeth, reduces plaque and risk of gum decay--the rectangular gum pieces look and taste strikingly similar to peppermint Chiclets. And guess what--both gum products are manufactured by Warner-Lambert! But if these up-scale Chiclets cost $1.69 for a package of 12 pieces, consider taking a nibble at the packaging--you might get you're money's worth...