Word: guyness
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Dates: during 1990-1999
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...would-be stars. Here the crushes of tomorrow are groomed by teams of choreographers, vocal coaches, personal trainers, marketers, stylists and p.r. experts. Pearlman's stable includes a young girl group and three more up-and-coming boy groups, including C-Note, a quartet of three cute Hispanic guys and one cute blond guy, from whom many in the music industry are expecting big things when their first Latin-inflected CD is released this spring...
...everything--the proportionate size of group members, their height, their weight, their hair color, their personalities onstage and off. Who will be the prankster, like 'N Sync's Chris Patrick? Who will be the lead sex symbol, like Backstreet's Nick Carter? Who can make a credible dangerous guy, the one who dresses more "urban" and maybe even has tattoos...
People want to talk to their machines. Lawyers and doctors who dictate case notes could use it. So could people who spend a lot of time working outside their office or in their cars. Bruce, the guy who works on my house, uses one to prepare estimates. Brilliant as he is with his hands, he doesn't type...
...Also, not long ago, I had long flowing hair much like Jesus'. And though, like many Jews, my carpentry skills are weak, I recently learned to spackle. As far as turning the other cheek, in my one fight, in 11th grade, I kind of just stood there while a guy punched me in the face. Jesus had some kind of relationship with a hooker; I had seen Pretty Woman. Eerie...
...world, and Stiller can't even open a major film by himself. That left me with Jon Stewart (too short), David Schwimmer (too Jewish, even for this part) and Adam Sandler. Yes, Adam Sandler. The actor who somehow got more than 20 million people to see The Waterboy. The guy who captured America with a character who rhymed words ending in -tion. Wasn't a man who slugged Bob Barker just one small step from jumping Christ in an alley? So, Jer, let's bag Sandler. And if we're wrong, at least he won't make any more films...