Word: guys
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...last guy I dated always wanted to put his balls atop my face. I’d lie down and he’d lean over me so that his taint, balls and hairy ass crack were all that I could see. He’d sort of plié down toward me, and I’d have to snap my teeth at his balls, try to catch them in my jaws before he pulled away. That...
...just want to have regular sex, the kind where the guy fucks me and I have an orgasm that sends my head knocking against something from the flailing thrill. But I keep finding all these boys who need it in a special way. And now I figure I’ve tried the weirdest most exciting stuff and found it boring, and that’s never going to change...
...sold yet? Yeah, neither were we. Incredibly, though, this guy claims that companies from IBM to Walt Disney have paid him to drum up enthusiasm for their products. The Wall Street Journal even ran a piece (in 1998, ahem) about the pitchman's skills at addressing crowds with "just a whiff of cheerful megalomania." Sure, Bauer's probably living in a cardboard box made of $4 business cards (foil-stamped!) right now, but you have to admire the man's spirit. Or maybe just giggle at it. Because life is not about being liked. It's about being effective...
While the ad is a fairly dead-on spoof - right down to Shlomi's signature "You followin' me, camera guy?" - it's not the first time the ad agency that created it, Forza Migliozzi, has convinced religious elders to embrace satire. Last year, the company decided the best person to shill for a revamped Christian cable network was the Devil himself. As Forza Migliozzi spokesman Ted Faraone told TIME, "Were there some misgivings in the church about running this kind of ad? Sure. But in the end, the bishop said, 'No guts, no glory,' and went...
...avoiding the whole controversy surrounding ShamWow's fallen ad man, Michael Migliozzi, founder of the ad agency, says simply: "Maybe it has come full circle with folks pointing out that the ShamWow guy needs to get some SoulWow." After all, he notes, "It was Jesus who said, 'Let he who is without sin cast the first stone...