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...sleek interface, or a reliable network. How does that sound? Johnny, have I ever told you that you look like a young Cary Grant? 3. “Valkyrie”—Leave it to a can’t-miss duo like Tom Cruise and the guy who made “Superman Returns” to think that an historical thriller about the assassination plot against Hitler would fill seats come Christmas time. I wonder if it occurred to the coked-up brainstorming team who pushed for the film’s reported $90 million budget...

Author: By Ryan J. Meehan, CRIMSON STAFF WRITER | Title: Top Five Aggressively Insignificant Artifacts of 2008 | 12/11/2008 | See Source »

...overstated, and those who don’t appreciate him are clearly bad people. Here are the five song parodies that actually outshine the originals. 5. “Pretty Fly For a Rabbi”—Parody of “Pretty Fly (For A White Guy)” by The Offspring As a Jewish kid from New Jersey, I was hurt by The Offspring’s assault on the wannabes of white suburbia. But change the subject matter to Bar Mitzvahs and pastrami: now that speaks to me. 4. “Smells Like...

Author: By Jeffrey W. Feldman, CRIMSON STAFF WRITER | Title: Top Five 'Weird Al' Parodies That Are Better Than The Original | 12/11/2008 | See Source »

Character: Jay Gatsby—“The Great Gatsby” by F. Scott Fitzgerald Caricature: Finals Club Guy An ostentatious social climber with a penchant for extravagant parties, Jay Gatsby would fit right in at any of Harvard’s social organizations for fine young gentlemen. Of course, if Jay Gatsby were at Harvard, his “parties” would consist of chugging half a fifth of vodka and hooking up with Daisy’s blockmate on a pool table at the Spee. Which is to say there are about a thousand...

Author: By Patrick R. Chesnut, CRIMSON STAFF WRITER | Title: Top Literary Characters and Their Harvard Caricatures | 12/11/2008 | See Source »

...exchange for favors - and seemed not to understand when his targets balked at his demands. When the CEO of Chicago's Children's Memorial Hospital failed to return phone calls regarding a campaign contribution, Blagojevich began investigating ways to deny the hospital funding. "What do we do with this guy?" he mused...

Author: /time Magazine | Title: Governor Gone Wild: The Blagojevich Scandal | 12/11/2008 | See Source »

...Blagojevich on Tuesday, referring to the governor's actions as a "political corruption crime spree" that brought the state's notoriously crooked politics to a "truly new low" and "would make Lincoln roll over in his grave." The rhetoric, called priggish by some, is not surprising for a guy who has built his career fighting Mob bosses, terrorists, drug lords and double-dealing public servants like former Bush aide "Scooter" Libby. "It has become a cliché to compare him to Eliot Ness, the Chicago Prohibition agent whom television and movies made into a symbol of incorruptible law enforcement...

Author: /time Magazine | Title: Patrick Fitzgerald | 12/11/2008 | See Source »

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