Word: h1n1
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Indeed, the looming H1N1 crisis right around the corner has possibly surpassed the scariness of our budget crisis. Whereas e-mails reflecting our budget crisis alert us to the discontinuance of our personal course guides, the regular H1N1 updates seem to threaten the very functioning of our university...
According to The Crimson, “Harvard University Health Services has identified 38 unoccupied dorm rooms throughout the House system to isolate students who have the H1N1 ‘swine’ flu and do not have single bedrooms.” Isolate? Yes, these isolation chambers—as we’ve termed them—are a frightening concept. But maybe not so much once you start applying that famous Harvard egotism...
That’s right, maybe H1N1 is your free ticket into J-term housing. Just imagine finishing your thesis in an air-locked chamber with no distractions but your own vomiting...
...ahead: play that fourth game of beer pong. Ignore those handy tips in the dining hall telling you to use a clean plate each time you get seconds—the administration is just trying to trick you into not getting swine flu. Did you know that H1N1 rooms come with full room service? Maybe next time you’ll think twice before stopping at the Purell dispenser. Rumor has it that isolation chambers might even receive the occasional hot breakfast...
Getting tired of your blockmates? The isolation chambers are doubles, so a myriad of social opportunities lie in store for you. Think of the friendships you’ll form in an H1N1 chamber. Your new roommate will have been handpicked for his or her common interests in digital thermometers, masks, tissues, and so much more...