Word: haffner
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...professionals always say to be open, honest and a good listener. What they don't say is how hard that can be. Maybe, like me, you're mortified at your own geekiness. Maybe you're afraid of sounding judgmental, priggish or foolish. So start small. Debra Haffner, author of the terrific book From Diapers to Dating, says parents should avoid "the big talk" and instead take advantage of everyday "teachable moments." Three-year-olds should be taught the proper names for their body parts, and five-year-olds should know basically where babies come from. Don't give young children...
...band practice, ask what kids do at parties or what he thinks of sexual images he sees on TV or in movies. Talk to your daughter about friendship, love, sex and the spaces between. "Don't turn it into an 'organ recital.' It's more about relationships than plumbing," Haffner says. If you feel you've got a late start, use that as an opener...
Public health experts have a more pressing concern: the programs could undo a decade of progress in education about safe sex. "Denying them information about contraception and STD protection puts them at risk," says Debra Haffner, president of SIECUS. Then there's the question of the psychological impact of such a message on adolescents just embarking on the awkward terrain of sexuality. Warns Pam Smallwood, education director of Planned Parenthood of Central Texas: "If all kids learn about sex is that if you touch it you'll die, how can you ever expect them to develop healthy relationships...
...teens know how to protect themselves, at least physically. But what about their emotional health and social behavior? That's a more troublesome picture. Many parents and teachers--as well as some thoughtful teenagers--worry about the desecration of love and the subversion of mature relationships. Says Debra Haffner, president of the Sexuality Information and Education Council of the United States: "We should not confuse kids' pseudo-sophistication about sexuality and their ability to use the language with their understanding of who they are as sexual young people or their ability to make good decisions...
...have experienced sexual intercourse, according to the Commission on Adolescent Sexual Health. And while the average age at first intercourse has come down only a year since 1970 (currently it's 17 for girls and 16 for boys), speed is of the essence for the new generation. Says Haffner: "If kids today are going to do more than kiss, they tend to move very quickly toward sexual intercourse...