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...threesome seem to act together to introduce “Them,” an invisible main character and a foil for Vargalas (or Vilnius itself), even though none of them share in Vargalas’ paranoia. In subtle fashion, they point out three cards in Vargalas’ hand: sterility, impotence, and humanity. And although it’s never clear what cards “They” hold, it’s evident that Vargalas’ hand is not strong enough to win.Of the four narrators, Vargalas has the most interesting hand at the table...

Author: By Erin F. Riley, CRIMSON STAFF WRITER | Title: Madness and Civilization Converge in 'Vilnius' | 2/12/2009 | See Source »

...each other in the street in a “line” lacking order and forward movement. Everybody had heard a different rumor: the section was full and even ticket-holders would no longer be admitted; the metal detectors had malfunctioned and each person was being screened by hand; someone had gone into cardiac arrest; all previous entrants had been re-checked once a series of counterfeit tickets were discovered. The only certainty in the throng lay in the fact that the ceremony could not be delayed, postponed, or rerun. It had to happen exactly at twelve noon. Always...

Author: By Max J Kornblith, CRIMSON STAFF WRITER | Title: No Country for Late Men | 2/12/2009 | See Source »

.../being quadded is not punishment for sins in a past life/it’s not gay if you’re drunk).A lot of section is just about killing time. Everyone hates those awkward silences when TFs look for answers and no one wants to raise their hand. After ten seconds of silence, you should (start a slow clap/judge a book by its cover—with special reference to color and texture/live like you were dyin’/pretend the section is a crashing plane; choose whom you would rescue and explain why, without explaining the scenario/give...

Author: By Daniel K Bilotti and Vincent M Chiappini, CONTRIBUTING WRITERSS | Title: Please, Write Your Own Damn Column | 2/12/2009 | See Source »

...wife. 3. Three shots when you hear the Yale joke (it’s super clever). Optional “heyooo!” 4. Every time passionate stares are exchanged between the terrorist captain—played by Gary Oldman—and his right-hand man, Andrei—played by Peter Parker’s grouchy landlord in the “Spider-Man” movies. 5. Every time you find yourself thinking, “Barack would never do this.” 6. Every time you find yourself thinking, “McCain might...

Author: By William P. Hennrikus, CONTRIBUTING WRITER | Title: ScreenShots: Air Force One | 2/12/2009 | See Source »

...could be cut into a triangle, it was good enough to be called a sandwich. The moderate liberals rejected the wrap and its cylindrical cousins (the burrito and the spring roll), but accepted the open-faced sandwich and the decidedly non-triangular bagel/rollwich. The radicals, on the other hand, accepted anything stuffed in carbs as a sandwich; in addition to wraps, burritos, quesadillas and hot dogs were welcomed into the fold.In the height of the battle, Adams awoke one morning to find itself plastered in Magritte-inspired signs—a picture of a wrap sliced in two, arranged like...

Author: By Rebecca A. Cooper, CRIMSON STAFF WRITER | Title: That's a Wrap: The Truth Behind the Great Sandwich Debate | 2/12/2009 | See Source »

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