Word: handjobs
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...There are barely any drugs, the narrator is more concerned with drinking Diet Coke than selling cocaine, and over the course of 200 pages, there is only one “fuck,” one “kiss,” and one imaginary handjob...
Chloe’s most wrenching moments don’t carry real pathos: she describes getting backstabbed by the vixen-like Veronica who has snagged Maxwell, he of the infamous Chloe-bestowed handjob. She lavishes us with the details of her angry conversation with her parents after they find out she’s writing a sex column. She even begins to doubt herself for writing said column, and has to be counseled out of crisis by her many girlfriends...
...quiet Wednesday night and Diane R. Rosenthal ’03 was giving a handjob to boyfriend F. Rodney Lee ’03 while they watched Jaws. But after a particularly shocking quick cut, according to Lee, “She involuntarily squeezed hard and really, really fucking hurt my balls.” Just when he thought it was safe...
...removing this crucial step [the handjob], we have removed so many options. For example, how do good girls take a walk on the wild side without compromising their decidedly D.J.-from-‘Full-House’ status? Before, it used to be through the handjob, now, it is all or nothing,” philosophizes Krinsky...
...Larry Z. Devine ’03 switched seats on his flight to Italy for spring break in order to sit next to a good-looking Italian girl. The two did some under-blanket canoodling that culminated in a handjob in the Milan international airport. When asked how he managed to cajole a non-English speaker into such wanton sluttery, Devine was philosophical. “Women: creatures of mystery. Who can fathom the unfathomable, know what is not to be known?” Questioned later in the trip about how he managed to run through his euros...